This week I had a great day out. The sun was shining and I was out with my sister and sister-in-law, along with my son and niece. We went on a bus ride and explored parts of London. My son was happy.
It is so funny because sometimes we pen our happiness down to tangible things. Things we can physically see or touch. But sometimes the very core of our happiness can be felt in a moment. An experience. Something we cannot put our fingers on.
This particular day I felt that said feeling. A spirit of joy and contentment. Now that isn’t to say I don’t or didn’t have crappie days leading up to or even after. But in that moment, in that cheeky smile my son gave, the sun shining, being around family whom cared about me, I felt rich. Rich in spirit.
See my journey so far has been a bumpy ride, some of which I solely am responsible for and some which was already paved before I knew I was walking it. Often I found myself at crossroads. I had choices to make. Easy right? Not for me. I am now in my thirties and only NOW am I starting to understand the meaning of Self-Love, Self-Preservation and complete Trust in God (or at least I am trying). I have found myself at crossroads, where I could have made better, more informed choices.As a result I have learnt a few key points, that I will share below.
One: Do not seek for others to validate you. If you cannot accept yourself do not expect other people to do it for you! You need to create a sense of confidence in whom you are and accept the things you cannot change about yourself, or maybe do not even like all that much. None of us are perfect and each of us, can improve who we are. However, we must LOVE, NURTURE and ACCEPT who we are to start off with. Only then can we take strides forward to becoming better people for OURSELVES not for others. Social media and Facebook likes do not sum up who you are!
Two: Be confident! This world will destroy you if you do not have confidence in yourself. Every single day we are bombarded with advertisements, social media, images and people’s opinions. Not all of them will align with who we are. Understanding that we cannot be all encompassing is important. Being confident in all of you is essential to survival. God created you in his image and his image alone. No one else’s. So what if people are lighter, darker, skinnier, more full figured, have big breast, better clothes, a nice house and so forth. You are not defined by these things but by your character. Be confident in who you are today, not tomorrow! Know that although you may be on a journey of self-improvement, you are embracing every step of that which is accepting who you are and being confident about knowing yourself.
Three: Listen to your inner voice. We all have it, but many of us do not take time to listen to it. I have been in relationships where the little voice in me was shouting ‘Noooooo they are not the one’, but because I was so insecure inside, I silenced that voice and continued to lower my expectations and standards and allow others to treat me in ways I would not encourage others to allow. You know you, and if you don’t, by listening to that little voice you will get to know you, a whole lot more. Be strong in trusting yourself and trusting your own decisions, rather than the voice of those around you. In the dark, it is only you and God!
Four: Do not live in the future. I have done this so many times. I live in the idea of tomorrow as I am not happy with where I am today. This is not to say, don’t have goals and dreams. I encourage that 100%. But don’t live for sunshine tomorrow, when you may have sunshine today. Embrace today’s story, today’s journey and today’s season. It is here for a reason and a lesson is waiting to be learnt. Something I have noticed in my life is cycles. Now cycles can be for a number of reasons.
A: I keep making the same decision and expecting a different result.
B: I need to learn a lesson and because I am failing to do so, God keeps giving me it, just in different ways/situations/circumstances.
Five: Be brave and do not be ashamed. I have learned the most valuable lessons in embracing who I am and where I come from. Yes, sometimes it is hard, particularly when I feel out-classed, uncomfortable and less educated… BUT BE BRAVE!
You may feel out of your league, you may feel unsure, but navigate your terrain anyway. No one gets anywhere by shying away and hiding because they feel out of place. A movie I love is Erin Brockovich. Now yes this is just a movie, but by goodness it makes you think for a second. And yes it is Hollywood, so some glam has gone into the story to make it more enjoyable and watchable, but my point is, this was a woman that clearly didn’t fit, but yet she solider on! If you cannot be brave for yourself, then how can you teach or show your children to be brave! You need to suck it up and reach for the stars. If you have to go down a few steps to go up a whole lot, be brave and be HUMBLE!
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