‘Grow the Flowers’…Pluck the Weeds.

Something I have learned in life is that your circle of friends are very important. My mother use to always say ‘Show me your friends and I’ll show you your character’. As we walk our journey we meet people along the way. It’s funny as we never pay attention to red flags or warnings when we are thinking of friends. Most people never assess if we need our armour on or not, when making friends that is. It isn’t a boyfriend-girlfriend type of situation is it, right? However as I emerge into my thirties, I can easily reflect on different periods of my life where the people and company I have chosen to keep, maybe where not right for me or my character.

Previously I have said I am 32 years old, but actually I am 32 years young! Because if I have learnt anything so far, is that what you think you know you don’t really know. Life is an ever evolving learning curve and each chapter of your life, opens new learnt experiences! As we walk through this journey, the people we keep around us may exert great influence. Some of us are strong and know who we are, but others, well we need a little help and support. If we choose the ‘weeds’ then their influence can be soul destroying.

My moto is ‘Be Careful of the Weeds but Grow the Flowers’. Anyone who knows me personally knows I invest in my friendships. They are my extended family. They are my support network, my laugh or cry type of company. My Peoples, My Peeps! I’m transparent! I wear my feelings on my sleeves, but I am also highly sensitive. Strong and confident.

I have great friends, but I have also met some unpleasant people, for which our time together was but for a season. Sometimes these seasons have been meaningful to teach me a lesson, however other times they have been self-destructive. People pray on the meek and at times, during, my growth I have been naive and vulnerable to others. For someone like me, it has caused some deep wounds. I absorb the world. I have done so since I was a child. I feel other people’s pain and I make their battles my own. Now there is nothing wrong with these qualities, demonstrated in the right way, and for the right friends. But I am now more experienced and mindful about whom I extend such care towards in such an intimate way. I guard my home and my heart.

Grow your flowers and know who they are. Sometimes we misplace our trust and sometimes we cast aside those that will be your closes friend. It can sometimes be easier to walk away, but it harder to build. Your foundation in life, will set the tone for the infrastructure you build. Friends are like flowers. They need water and shade. Don’t believe what you see on TV, this throw away generation. The lack of loyalty and commitment. Your journey ahead may already have a few challenges, and trust me when I say, it will be those that are around you, whom will help you get through!

#NakedEmotions #MayoandFries 

All Contents Copyright © 2016

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Open Me Up 

Open me up my love, open me up. I know I seem hard and concealed. Like an onion I need to be peeled. Complexity is my middle name and emotion is my brother. Too many years of baggage and lack of healing, dealing, but rather only revealing what I want the world to see and know.

Loneliness is my friend. I embrace it so well. Remaining silent and keeping a distance. It’s safe that way. I’m safe.

Open me up my love, open me up. See my scars and hear my pain. Help me to release this burden. Help me tell my story. A story you have heard a million times from those before me. Let me cry and cry, release the weight.

Open up, let me open up. The light is coming, I feel the pleasure, the freedom. Hear my heart my dear, let the beat set the rhythm. Let me tell my deepest secrets, let this be my song. A beautiful melody. Hear my heart, see my cry, know my words, before they leave my mouth.

Looking at a picture of a child I use to be, I wonder how I came to see. The world in the way I do, no longer flashing lights of opportunity but a long of a lost glory.

Open me up my dear, open me up. Let me fly like a bird, let my voice no longer be silenced but be heard. Let me tell my story and reach tomorrows glory.

#NakedEmotions ~MayoandFries 

All Contents Copyright © 2016

Loving Yourself and Fight the Pattern!

Loving Myself and Fighting My Pattern…

Sitting at my desk, normally bright eyed and bubbly, I am haunted with the idea of regret. The ideas of yesterday and the longing for what has already come to past. I know that this isn’t a place that one should live, nor reside in for long, as we all know, we cannot change what has come to past. However I can’t help but feel a sense of let down by myself. That feeling that I didn’t do all that I know I am capable of. This makes me feel empty and hollow inside.

Knowing that time stands still for no-one, I fear that today and tomorrow this feeling will remain. What a waste of life, if I don’t fulfill my potential. All that I know I can achieve. I mean, have you ever had that feeling that overwhelms, that you know you are capable of so much more, but still you remain in this circle of repetitive existence. Work, home, friends, and family. Over and over again. Now normally I would relish this and don’t get me wrong, I love it secretly, but I also long for that excitement. The adventure of life. Walking on the edge.

love yourself heart

Hmm…

Is this me feeling a little old?

Is this me, missing my youth or at least that feeling of not having to take life seriously?

Maybe it’s a sign I am not living or at least I have become a bit complacence. I know this feeling stems from somewhere and I HATE IT. This means I need to bring change. I need to bring my A-Game! I know that there is so much life to still live. Maybe my years before were so drained I have forgotten that inner joy within me. The one that bursts with life and adrenaline.

I guess this is also why I started my blog. I want to do things differently. I know I struggle with consistency and commitment to see things through. I often pick up new fads and find myself switching between things. I have previously been a serial job hopper and generally find it hard to stay rooted. I have moved more than twenty times in my life and FOUR times in the last FIVE years. Life has thrown me some unbalance but I guess I need to focus on staying grounded in the midst of turbulence. I know within me there is greatness. You may not see it immediately, but I know deep down inside the core of my soul that I am not living to my full potential. I am existing and not utilising the gifts and blessings I have been granted with. I want more but not because I am materialistic or desire monetary rewards, but that feeling of completion! Like I feel a sense of satisfaction, that I have completed a task and met myself! I have Met Myself!!!

love yourself words

I recently started running and I actually love it. I don’t know why or how that even happened, as I previously loathed such a task. But I guess running has given me that space to be free in my own thoughts, and to also push myself beyond my limits. I started in January and love it but have had some setbacks. I can be lazy and I have lost focus. I also have a back injury so do have to take it easy. But I hear myself shout excuses! Excuses!!! Wake your ass up and go runI haven’t run for a month and half…first it was my back as I triggered my slipped disc, so I had to rest it and now it’s just me, letting me down! My back is back to normal or as normal as it can be, and I still haven’t put on my running shoes!

Now I know it isn’t that big of a deal really. Just get back out there with your running shoes I hear you say. But for me it is A BIG DEAL…this is what I do. I just lose focus. I start with so much drive and then I slip. However this is where the change will come, MUST COME. I am aware of it! I am. So tomorrow I will wake up and put on those running shoes! I will run because in doing so I am meeting myself and challenging my cycle of pattern. I will show myself that I can be more. I can be committed. I can see it through. I can break this pattern of behavior I have developed since teenage-hood. This throw away lifestyle! This is me meeting myself as silly and  as strange as it may seem. I won’t torture myself with regret and disappointment because I fell off course! No! Not anymore. I am amazing and I have the potential!love yourself

I will walk, I will run and I will see it through. I have this habit of beating me up. Beating myself up to the point there is nothing left. I don’t fear others but fear myself. I am my own critic. I am the one who will destroy all that is good…within me. I wasn’t taught to see the good in myself, so I am teaching me now. I am teaching me, how to love myself. Slowly and intimately, I take sip after sip, feeding love into my life. Positive complements. I acknowledge the negative thoughts. I can’t not, but I am trying to process them. Process the disappointment and understand where it comes from. Why do I…dare I say it…hate me sometimes. Hate who I am… maybe because I haven’t learnt to love me and to also embrace me, when I fall down rather than repetitively bash myself for the fall. It’s a hard stance and hard journey to say the least.

We develop these patterns of behavior and to change them is a massive challenge. I find it sometimes too much, but I am determined. So until next time, pray for me, cheer for me and for all those souls that have been damaged on the way up and need peace, love and encouragement. Be good to those around you, as you don’t know behind that smile or those eyes the demons they are fighting internally, let alone externally.

#NakedEmotions #MayoandFries 

All Contents Copyright © 2016

Mayo with Fries…Really

So why Mayo and Fries…

Years ago in 2007 I was in Boston, at a bowling alley with some friends that I had in New England. We ordered some snacks on the side as you do. When my fresh, hot, potato fries arrived, I was alarmed to find that I was offered a number of sauces but no Mayonnaise. hmmm interesting..so naturally I asked the waitress for some Mayo for my Fries…Well that was it, my friends whom were from New England, AKA Boston…were mortified. Mayo and Fries! What was this combination I was attempting to introduce. A laughable situation and a cultural shock for us both, we shared in some good banter. However that idea had just stuck with me…so much so that I set up my email, Mayo and Fries…and now 2016 my blog…

#NakedEmotions ~ Mayo and Fries